Welcome to the very first chapter of generation Four!  I’m excited cos this means I’m almost half-way, and that’s always better than ‘not close to half-way’.    Also big thanks to everyone who voted in the heir poll.  I’m tickled pink about the results (Except for Jethro not getting any votes… he’s kinda grown on me with his random crazy ways.)

There was a 6.3 magnitude after-shock in Christchurch last week, it’s pretty much been a terrible week for all of us down here at the bottom of the world (NZ, not called ‘The Shaky Isles’ for nothing), but most especially for those poor buggars in Christchurch.   So understandably, I haven’t felt like writing…but I’ll give her a go!  Apologies if my jokes are flatter than usual.

Lucretia:  “ZOMG!!!1!!!!!1!  Initiate synchronized PANiC STATIONS!!”

So I send Lucretia down to get educated in the Athletics (upon writing this I realized I should have started working on teh athletics while she was still a teen… oops my bad).  Anywho, after earning her first athletic skill point, Lucretia stumbles upon this scene of carnage and desperation!  And promptly freaked the f**k out.  This does not bode well, seeing as she is contractually obliged to go through this herself at least 3 times >.<

Lucretia:  “OMG!  Cross your legs woman!  I don’t want to see that!”

Hyacinth:  “OMFG!  Door open NOAW!  I don’t want to be here!”

Lulz.  If the door has handles, it’s not automatic.  Just saying.

So after Tiara (I think) helpfully hopped into a cab to depart for destinations unknown, Lucretia started work on her second athletic skill point.  Not that she has a job yet, but I want her to fly through those first couple of promotions.  Also, pretty scenery is pretty.  I completely ❤ Bridgeport.  Yeah, I’m a city girl (Okay maybe more of a suburban city-fringe girl).

Later that same evening…DOUBLE-EWE-TEE-EFF???  Now that’s some sound parenting right there!  You go girl get your groove on!

I suspect Ms Tiara has a stunt double somewhere… What makes it even more funny?  It wasn’t just normal dancing it was up on the table getting my funk on dancing, I guess that ‘It’s a Boy/Girl/Twins/Triplets!’ moodlet really gets you in the mood to party!

But I digress, the real reason we are here is to celebrate the fact that everyone is an adult (And see if a more acceptable spouse has been generated).  Sadly, I believe the MacTavishes are born without the ‘funk’ gene.  Sad panda’s.

Lucretia:  “Yo, so I figured our dancing requires more lubrication!  So I bought these drinks with star-shaped swizzle sticks.”

Jethro:  “Why thank you younger sister! This over priced drink tastes delicious!”

Uh, Jethro, you don’t have a drink

Jethro:  “I do!  Just you’re not awesome enough to see it!”

Ouch.

Could it be?

Why yes!  After deciding it was funny in my head careful scientific scrutiny I have discovered that the MacTavish ‘funk’ gene requires beverages in order to activate.  Please note that it must be recessive because only 50% of the participants were actually activated… Then again, there just may not have been enough raised surfaces.

Meanwhile back at the MacTavish Mansion…

Chance and Betty make beautiful music together alone and in separate rooms.

Talulla:  “Oh yeah!  I’m funking it up in my smokin hot dress!  U mad?”

Gilbert:  ” C’mere ladies!  I have plenty of MacTavish ‘funk’ gene to go round! *Unh!*”

Yeah.  So beverages also unlock the MacTavish ‘loud, obnoxious and trashy’ gene.  I’m so proud!

Lucretia:  “Haha!  I’m so selling that to the tabloids!”

Talulla isn’t famous?

Lucretia:  “Naw, but Gilbert is.”

Lucretia appears to be strangely unaffected by the consumption of ‘juice’.

Jethro:  “This couch feels like home.”

As does Jethro, then again he only had imaginary drinkies.

Chance:  “It’s not fair!  I was young and hip and would have totally ripped up that night-club in my day.  Tell me again why we can’t go?”

Betty:  “Because we are old and saggy and have a stereo-type to maintain?  Also it’ll embarass the kids.”

Chance:  “So?”

Lucretia:  “Dude seriously?  You’re in my awesome lighting polluting my awesome photo.  Don’t make me cap your ass.”

RandomMan:  “But my ass is so pretty! It has long flowing hair, just like my eyebrows.”

Lucretia: “…”

And so Lucretia is now wanted for questioning on a small matter of donkeycide.  Hurr.

The next AFTERNOON (cos last night was so epic)…

Lucretia:  “So baby, are you single?”

Edgardo (Not Eduardo…):  “Si.  Also I am skilled in the ways of torturing a man from my time spent employed in my family’s bubble cartel.”

So it appears we have yet another evil maid on our hands.  Yeah, Bertram also up and disappeared on us.  Which I don’t mind because we didn’t need to pay him.  I am beginning to think it’s a glitch or conflict or something.  And while having a general dogs-body who cooks all hours of the day was annoyingly handy, I believe the MacTavishes can live without a butler for the time being.

Edgardo: “Senorita, I can break a man’s soul in 30 minutes, but you have captured mine  in an instant.”

Lucretia:  “*sigh*  Somehow, it just doesn’t feel right…”

AMG!  Lucretia does have a heart!  I certainly didn’t suspect anything.  Ah well, Edgardo isn’t going anywhere.  Perhaps she can have his love-child or something later on.  I just realized I should probably jump on the drama-llama at some stage, and Lucretia certainly seems the type to misbehave.

But for now, she’ll continue to work on her athletic skill.  I think I’ve also got her playing chess and stuff when she’s done tuckered out.  I can’t remember.  It’s been a month (oops).

And despite the woeful state of her work-related skills, I have Betty chained to the easel to produce this generations portraits.  Seriously I don’t know why Eaxis bothered with that capture screen for portraits.  No matter how I center them they always end up off kilter.

Talulla:  “Uh… So I poke the sparky thing with my screw-driver?”

Yes.

Talulla:  “Okay!”

Hoping to kick-start the drama-llama I had Talulla fix the lap-top whilst I pretended she had a hang-over.  I am sad to report she did not get electrocuted and dead.  Next time, I’m going to put it in a puddle of water!

Jupiter:  “Hey Luc!  Man you sure got tall. “

Lucretia:  “Thanks!  I got old and stuff.  Mind if I come in?  I have something I need to talk to you about.”

Jupiter:  “Sure!  Anything for you babe!”

Also, please note the make-over that nearly broke them up!  Seriously?  He looks way better now.  Whiny b*tch.

Lucretia:  “…and while I have tried to find alternatives, it appears that I really don’t want to spend my life with anyone else.  Of course there are some risks.  We’ll have to age you up early, and you’ll have to take my last name.  But I think you’ll agree this is an offer you cannot refuse.”

Jupiter:  “So, I don’t get to even look at another woman until Grim comes to cart me off? Hmmm.”

Lucretia:  “You can look at all the porn you want on the computer.  Just no touching.  Unless you want me to cut your hands off.  So whaddya say?”

Jupiter:  “Well when you put it that way…”

Lucretia:  “I was hoping you’d say that.  I’ve organised your birthday party at my house for this evening.  That cool?”

This marriage is going to be AWESOME!

Talulla:  “Teehee!”

Yet another picture of Talulla playing with the sprinklers.  I like this one though, its kind of artistic and stuff.

Later that evening…

Lucretia:  “Yay!  I get to have me some Woohoo! Blow those candles out boy!”

Betty:  “I’m just going to close my eyes and pretend I didn’t hear that.”

The tradition of prematurely aging future spouses continues.

Jupiter:  “WTF?  What the hell are these things?”

Sadly because this is the first time he’s aged up on camera, and the general lack of preparation in general… He is not prepared.  In fact, I’d even go as far to say he’s slightly VERY SCARED.

Thankfully, Jupiter stoically endured the ‘sparkles of doom!’ and celebrated by choosing clothes that are the same color as his hair.

Lucretia:  “Omnomnomnom… I’m just whetting my appetite if you know what I mean.”

So yeah, no other reason to include this picture, other than it’s a good angle for Lucretia.  She looks pretty right?

Jupiter:  “OMG!  You’re Chance right?  You nearly became my mother’s baby-daddy!”

Chance:  “Now, kid… No need to broadcast it aye?  Heh?! *awkward*”

So yeah, I was considering having Chance have an affair because if I’m honest his marriage is pretty loveless (All Betty’s fault), and he did autonomously hug Lola amorously that one time.  Then she got pregnant to her boyfriend, so I forgot about the whole thing… That is until Jupiter bought it up again.

Talulla:  “Cool birthday kid!  Now if you’ll excuse me I have an important date!”

With the sprinklers!  Again!  I swear if Talulla could have babies with the sprinklers she would.

Jupiter:  “Gosh gee!  I’m so pretty!”

Lucretia:  “Uh.  Really?  You do know there’s just a glued on picture of Brad Pitt there right?  It’s not really a mirror.”

Yeah.  Apparently Jupiter is a snob.  I haven’t had one of those before.  And Lucretia really, no need to burst his bubble just yet.  Wait til you’re married.

Lucretia:  “Good point!”

Chance:  “Aww.  My baby’s all grown up!  And he’s such a nice kid too…”

Lucretia:  “Now that you’ve put your “mirror” away darling, I have something I need to ask you!”

Lucretia:  “I know we’ve already discussed this…but we’re an old-fashioned family and I can’t find the option to ask you to move in with us…”

Jupiter:  “Huh?  Do you need help finding a contact lens my love?”

Lucretia:  “So whaddya say?  Will you take this ring and make me devilishly happy?”

Jupiter:  “Oh.  My.  This is totally unexpected…But yes I will marry you, and only look at other women and not touch them ever.  I like my hands.”

Lucretia:  “I think you’ll like my hands even better my love!”

And with that Lucretia is now a happily engaged woman.  She doesn’t waste time.

Lucretia:  “…And this is the room where you will live for the rest of your life…And thus concludes the tour!”

Jupiter:  “Not bad.  Oooh is that an ensuite?”

Lucretia:  “You’ll have plenty of time to check that out later love… How about you come check out your death-bed?  May as well break it in nice and early.”

Lucretia is a romantic… No really!  Okay.  Her sense of the romantic is skued twisted somewhat.

Lucretia:  “Now come here baby!  I’ve been waiting for this for a long time!”

Yeah 2 whole days.  Such a long wait.  Also, I think it’s kind of cool how her fingers are all tangled up in his hair, I honestly never noticed that before.

Lucretia has been told about the slightly-strict family values handicap that the family has been observing.  Obviously the only part she heard was ‘handicap’ and decided to prove that she wasn’t all that handicapped after all.  >.<  We’ll just let them have their moment now that I’ve snapped a picture right?

Lucretia:  “Must.  Remember…zzzZZZzzz… to purchase politician…zzzZZZzzz”

Sweet dreams are made of these.  Who am I to disagree… or something.  Anywho they look sweet, and here is where we will leave them.  They have a BIG day tomorrow!  Yes the next chapter is the wedding chapter full of hijinks and hilarity.  I hope.