Welcome back to yet another exciting installment of the MacTavishes!  The iRL woes continue!  For some reason, the store didn’t recognize that I owned a couple of items…Long story short, they gave me Sim points to buy them back…But yeah, I bought them over a year ago, they showed up in my purchase history and everything…I wouldn’t mention it except for one of the items in question is Griselda’s top.  So I was morally obligated to buy it back right?

Man-maid:  “…so I grabbed my pom-poms and started going ‘RAH RAH TEAM’ with all of my precious little heart…”

Talulla:  “Cool story bro!”

Talulla understands her obligations as a potential Legacy Heiress, and chats up he spare maid that comes along when the MacTavishes have been particularly messy… I haven’t the heart to tell her she’s probably barking up the wrong tree.

Chance:  “Hmmmm.”

Jethro:  “HmmmMMMmmm.”

Nothing like the awesome seriousness of chess to help father and son bond.  Chance and Betty are actually pretty close to all of their kids, which kinda surprised me.

Of course if I don’t keep my eye on her, this is where I am most likely to find Talulla… Yeah she loves the outdoors.  I just wish she didn’t think that means ‘play with the sprinkler incessantly!’

Once again, everyone chips in to ensure that Lucretia will not embarrass the family by peeing her pants, dragging her ass along the ground speaking gibberish in public… or something.

Of all the things that a ghost can haunt… why do they haunt gravestones?

Lucretia:  “You can put be behind bars… but you can’t make me sleep copper!”

Yeah, everyone else sleeps normal hours, Lucretia is the family night owl… I figure she’s just getting herself used to the times when she’ll be stuck behind bars with all the interesting things in her inventory confiscated.

Jethro:  “We are NOT amused by our elderly ninja grandmother!”

Jethro has the best facials EVAH!  Even as he demonstrates his insanity by failing to find his ninja grandmother amusing.

Jethro:  “C’mon Loola!  Don’t want to be late!”

Time flies when you are having fun…or something, it’s the twins first day at school…

Talulla:  “I’m coming!  I’m coming!  Keep your pants on!  PLEASE!”

And she really does want Jethro to keep his pants on…

Talulla:  “Oh.  Dear.  Bob.  Daaaad!”

Jethro:  “Tomorrow I’m going to be JUST LIKE DAD!”

I wonder what the kids are looking at?

Oh!

Chance?  I don’t think your guitar playing is helping anything here!

Angry Postman is Angry!

Chance:  “Lalalalala Dododododo Dededede…”

The Angry Postman made me forget to put the second floor up…True story!

Angry Postman:  “FU Bills!  You better stay there… Or else!  RAAAAAHRAAAHRAAAAH!!!1!!1!!”

Poor Bills.

Chance:  “Dadada….Hmm I wonder what his problem is…”

Angry Postman:  “Mommiiiiiiieeee?  *waaaah*!”

Chance:  “Holy f**k!  I just realised I’m still in my undies!”

Yes, Chance, it’s all your fault that the bills got abused.  Now put some pants on!

Betty, being a workaholic, frequently can’t even make it out the front door of the school before her low fun needs driver her to whip out her trusty guitar… Then she jams like a boss.  Or something.  Anyways.  This photo is also the point where the MacTavishes get to experience Late Night!  Thats right, the creepy guy hanging around the school in a reptile-skin jacket is paparazzi!  I have yet to encounter any celebrities but that is because Riverview is a hick town right?  Right!

See look!  The MacTavishes now have a hot tub and a curvy pool!  They’re living the Late Night dream!  I was going to build them a new house, but this one works surprisingly well.  So what I might do is construct a bar and music studio above the two bedroom wings, it shall be awesome!  But they need moar moneys (Technically they’re not poor, just yeah.  Education pays sh*t… who would have guessed?)

As I said, time just keeps on zipping along!  It’s Betty’s birthday already…

Betty:  “What the f**k?!… I’m sparkling!?  But I haven’t vomited once!”

Oh Betty, this is adulthood sparkles, not giving birth sparkles!  Silly Billy!  <Insert sparkly vampire joke here>

Chance:  “Yay!  Woohoo!  Now you’re old like me!  Go Betty!”

Even pixelated husbands are just as AWESOME as RL ones!

Dave:  “Oooh!  Do that again!  It felt good!”

Talulla:  *Innocent whistling*

Once more Talulla strikes out, this charming wee lad, is the child of George Dean, and that random Sim who works in the Consignment store.  He should turn out pretty… we shall see.

Griselda:  “Omnomnomnom … Now when I’m gone you’ll have something to remember me by kiddies.”

Yeah, haven’t seen much of Griselda lately… mostly because she has made the hot tub her new home.  Which is why you probably haven’t seen her awesome togs before either.

So I was just randomly zipping around the lot, making sure all the MacTavishes were tucked in safe and sound, when I saw a strange woman next door.  At first I was like WTF?  Then I saw what she was wearing, then I was LOL!  Sim-me got BUFF!  PS.  I has lots of children in game.

So the dishwasher broke… I send in Chance to fix it, because his constant hogging of the hot tub instead of doing any thing productive was pissing me off.  Sadly he wasn’t electrocuted, and the dish-washer works fine.

There is no way this is going to end well…

Oh, FU Chance, FU!

Amazingly enough, I thought he was going to land on his face, but no, much like a cat Chance always lands on his feet.

Meanwhile…

Grim Reaper:  “Griselda MacTavish?  It is your time…”

Ghost-Griselda:  “oooOOOoooOOOooo”

Grim Reaper:  “I said…  Oh bother, she can’t hear me through the window….”

Grim Reaper:  “Ah, now this is much better.  Griselda MacTavish, it is your time.  You have led a long and healthy life and you shall spend eternity in paradise…”

Ghost-Griselda:  “Oh Grim Reaper… Please PLEASE let me have one day.  I was going to throw a party to celebrate my 100th day of life.”

Grim Reaper:  “Could I come?”

Ghost-Griselda: “Uh….”

Grim-Reaper:  “Exactly!  Now get up off your knees and come with me please!”

True story!  I was going to throw Griselda a centinary party… then she died the day before!

Chance isn’t completely heartless, he was getting off the trampoline in order to be there for his mother when her pleas were rejected by Grim Reaper.

Ah, Griselda!  The Legacy would have ground to a screeching halt if it were not for her efforts.  She spent her formative years living in the wild roaming free before becoming a baby sister!  It was there that she met the love of her life and married her way into wealth and security.  Griselda lived to the ripe old age of 99 days, and had (when I checked that Sim morning) 244,874 Lifetime Happiness points.  I will miss her and her easily controlled kleptomania, she is survived by 3 children, and 5 (soon to be 6) grandchildren.  See you soon Grizzly-bear!

Chance:  “Oh…what a big scythe you have!”

Grim Reaper:  “…”

Chance:  “Oh… I mean.  Mom?  I’m all alone!  *wail*”

Grim Reaper:  “I say dear fellow, all this wailing and crying just isn’t cricket!  It doesn’t have to be this way you know…”

Chance:  “It doesn’t?…. No wait… Moooooom!?”

Grim Reaper:  “Indeed, you just inherited a most wonderous contraption, with it you can skip the morning period entirely, and remember your mother with love and affection.  I’d say it is what she would have wanted…”

If you ask me, I just think Grim’s had enough of Chance’s sissy boy crying.

Chance:  “Hey!  Whaddya know!  Grim was right, this IS a wonderous contraption… Hey Betty!…”

And so, the adults (at least) were spared the two days of happiness decreasing morning.  The children…that’s another matter entirely!

Jethro:  “So when I was born…”

Betty:  *Doesn’t know what the f**k to do*

Neither do I quiet frankly!  And yes, Jethro is still in his Christmas gears… That photo shot was taken 5 minutes before the kids had to be in school, and about 3 hours before Griselda passed away… I have awesome timing!

So why have I included this picture of a girl eating cereal?  Because Talulla has gone home to Miss Constance’s house a few times now, and I have never seen hide nor hair of any other occupant on the lot!  I feel sorry for her because she’s an orphan and has to eat cereal and doesn’t have anyone to snuggle her or give her security or anything!

Sim-me on the other hand, is far more concerned about getting out and shaking hands and kissing babies!  Now that’s dedication (Because despite the fact I thought Sim-Me was in the police force, I get pop-ups telling me about her latest political promotions!)

Chance:  “Yep… *Big yawns*   I’m da man!”

Admittedly it has been a while since we’ve had any significant MacTavish achievements, but Chance continues the MacTavish tradition of being rather bored when they achieve their lifetime wish.  Yes, Chance is now a hit movie composer!  And he got the expensive stereo, which was kinda handy because the one that they had was on the fritz and saved us calling in the handy man… for a day or so.

Gilbert:  “Derp… I can see my nose!”

Bob dammit Chance!  Why do all of your children have to grow up looking like morons?  Why?!

Gilbert:  “I call this look Hazel Rebar!  Just the many exotic poses I plan to use in my child-modelling portfolio!”

Yeah.  Gilbert has asperations, he is now a disciplined artistic genius… Not that you can tell by looking at him or anything.  Moron.

Betty:  “Hey darling?  Technically we’re still mourning your mother… want to knock back a couple of juices?”

Celtic mourning rituals, Betty knows them! And she approves!

Jethro: “Omnomnomnom.  I burn me the best muffins!”

So, Chance has had to step up into his fathers shoes, else all the MacTavishes would eat would be cake and quick-meals… But someone, not naming names, can’t wait the 5 minutes it would take his dad to make some delicious flame-fruit pancakes (FU Chance, FU!)… He jumps on his trusty Suzy Homemaker girly oven and gets him self a burnt blueberry muffin.

Chance:  “Hold me Betty! My mother is dead… and Jethro won’t eat my cooking… *sniff*”

These two do roll wishes for each other still.  I believe that I’ve locked in woohoo wants for the both of them since before Lucretia was born… Yeah dunno when I’ll get around to letting them fulfill them.  Ooops.

Chance:  “Your grand daddy’s name was Marsh… You were conceived on the day he died.”

Handy Manny*:  “Dude, that is so inappropriate… If I fathered your grandchildren, I wouldn’t tell them sh*t like that.”

*Of course he isn’t Handy Manny, just I forgot to actually note his name because he’ll probably be dead of old age before either of the girls can chat him up.  This makes me sad.

Chance:  “Oh fine!  *muttermutteruppityserviceSimsgrumblegrumble*  Okay, Lucy… The Grim Reaper has a HUGE scythe…”

My daughter prefers words that relate to food, such as ‘more’ ‘please’ and ‘ice-cream’…Sometimes she even makes a sentence! Bob only knows what kind of sentences Lucretia will be making O.o

The children are still mourning the loss of Griselda.  Talulla is taking it very hard, I don’t think she’s even thought about playing in the sprinklers even once.  Jethro… his moodlets say that he is mourning, but it’s really hard to tell.

Oh hai?  Who are you?

Janell Valentine:  “I’m Janell Valentine, and I will be your awesome babysitter so that the parents can take advantage of some opportunities.”

Even her name is awesome…and we did just loose the last babysitter to marry into the family… Quick Jethro!  To the hot girl!

Jethro:  “So, my favourite colour is turquoise…what’s yours?”

Janell Valentine:  “I likes me some spiceberry, it goes well with my exotic looks.”

Jethro:  “It goes well with turquoise too!”

Good boy Jethro!  He’s only a couple of days away from becoming a teen himself, and I can live with Janell being the older woman.

Speaking of older women… I sent Betty out to collect the funds form the businesses then remembered she needed to earn $500 in tips… There was quite a crowd outside the Diner, so I let her have at it.  As you can see, Pascal is still fat.  He’s dancing with Bliss, who has gotten a hair-cut more suited to an up and coming corporate hot-shot!  They have a little boy called Brandon… but I call him Brando cos thats more awesome.  Destiny and Maximus are also expecting a child… but it hasn’t been born yet so I’ll have to keep you posted.

WTF!?  Sim-Lee get the f**k away from the skanky paparazzi ;.;.  Just cos Sim-me lost a lot of weight doesn’t mean you have to go after the first chubby skank in short-shorts you see!  /wrists.

As you can see, Betty managed to gather quite a crowd.  It’s all part of her cunning plan to create more business for the Diner I tells ya!  Also she made her $500 in tips and then some.  Little orphan Constance probably contributed a good $200 of that too.

Janell Valentine:  “I’m so cute!  Even my foot looks awesome in one of these babies!  I’ve so gotta marry into a family with a hot tub!”

Okay, yes I may have a little pixelated girl-crush on Janell.  But she’s just too Gosh-darn cay-ute!

So you know that opportunity where Betty had to make $500 in tips?  It was given to her by her mother.  I guess just because you are a fully mature adult with a family of your own doesn’t mean that you don’t have to prove your worth to your mother.  Or something.  That sentence definitely got away from me.  Also?  Betty is going to make a pretty elder.  Just saying.

Skanky Paparazzi:  “…so I met a totally hot guy last night. He was all over my fine ass…”

Back off b*tch.  Thats all I’m saying.

(Also, I don’t get to be jealous iRL, I never realized how disturbing I am)

Little Orphan Constance:  “You’re so lucky baby… You have a mum and dad who love you, brothers and sisters who you can play with.  Lots of nice stuff like this video game…”

Lucretia:  “Would you shut up and play already?  I’m missing my stories!”

Lucretia continues to delight and amuse me.  Can’t wait to see her as a child.

And thus concludes this chapter, which has been in the making since Boxing Day (day after Christmas).  I think it’s my longest chapter yet, 2427 words and counting!  Thats larger than a lot of essays I’ve had to write.  I haven’t really played beyond this, so I don’t know what is happening next, but you can be sure that it’ll be packed full of something!